I don't like walks

I know dogs are supposed to like walks, but I don’t get it. First they tie a string around your neck then they expect you to trot calmly around the neighborhood. No toys. No chasing. No chewing. No food. No soft bed. Then there’s all the scary noises: cars, lawnmowers, skateboards… On top of that, I have dogs yelling at me from every yard we pass! This is not fun! And how come I’m the only pack member with a string around his neck? There are a lot of great smells though, I have to admit. I like smells – they don’t make any noise, they don’t hiss or swat, and sometimes there’s a chewy treasure right in the middle of ‘em.